Exile of the Shitty Wizard

by Low Cunning

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dharmalogos I put on these dungeon synth-inspired guitar melodies to help me sleep. Good tunes.

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A Cassette You Might Play
Cassette + Digital Album
Physical media packaged in a handsome vinyl case to ensure you can't store it with most of your other cassettes. Full-color jacket to confuse and befuddle impressionable children. Includes a whimsical insert, selection of stickers, and assorted 1" pins. Yes, again.

Tapes ship via USPS first class, tracking included. Not responsible for lost tapes, etc etc. For international friends, I'm sorry that prices suck.

Max two tapes per order plz - that's what the padded envelope will hold.

Includes unlimited streaming of Exile of the Shitty Wizard via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.	Dutifully I Leave The Castle With Only My Staff Plus A Purse Brimming With The Purest Uncut Poppies 03:40	buy track
2.	Sometimes I Dream The Hollow Voice That Calls Me “Fool” Might Offer Suggestions On How I Can Better Myself 02:07	buy track
3.	I Refuse To Believe This Multi-Level Dungeon Was Formed Naturally Over Several Eons Because There Are Fucking Stairs Between Floors 02:30	buy track
4.	Statistically It’s Not The Dragons, But Rather the Lack Of Indoor Plumbing And Clean Water, That Will Do Thee In 01:50	buy track
5.	If We’re Engaged In Turn-Based Combat Someone Tell Me Before I Start Lobbing Fireballs Everywhere 04:30	buy track
6.	Watch As I Boldly Descend Into This Dungeon, Synthesizing My Plans To Accrue The Means Whereby I Might Resurrect Several Dead Princesses 01:43	buy track
7.	Obviously If I Believed In The Witch’s Curse I Wouldn’t Have Talked Shit About Her Coven 02:58	buy track
8.	Given The Wide-Open Nature Of These Plains You’d Think I’d Be Able To See Random Encounters Coming, But Nay 03:02	buy track
9.	Hand Over My Guerdon, Knave, That I Might Purchase Demeaning Prostitution 03:32	buy track
10.	Motherfuckers Really Are Out Here Naming Their Seed “Qu’artahon” Or Some Shit And They All Wanna Grow Up And Wield Broadswords 04:18	buy track
11.	Pissing Off The Abandoned Battlements Onto The Heads Of Approaching Brigands Deals 1 HP Damage! Command? 02:06	buy track
12.	Archers Are Such Little Bitches 03:14	buy track

about

Everyone's least-favorite mage returns for another adventure! This one comes with a valuable lesson: you can only let so many princesses die before the king throws you out of the realm. Homeless, unrepentant, and ostensibly on drugs, can you help the Shitty Wizard as he searches the Hinterwürldfor for a mystical way to save his ass?

credits

released May 20, 2022

Written and performed by Z. Emerson Weston
Mastered by Tom Gaffron
Design by Gage Salzano, Studio Apt.

Almost all sounds on "Exile of the Shitty Wizard" were performed on guitar or a guitar-like device with a small army of effect pedals. As guitar strings are imperfect oscillators, the occasional weird glitch or untoward noise should be expected and welcomed.

license

about

Low Cunning Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Fake video game music for fake video games with fake synth sounds made by real guitars.

Call the Tipline of the Shitty Wizard: (888) 351-2666. Updated whim-ishly.

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