Penitence of the Shitty Wizard

by Low Cunning

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Die-Cut Limited Edition Cassette
Cassette + Digital Album
Released to celebrate an appearance at Assembly Required in Asheville, NC the weekend Feb 3rd and 4th. Hand-dubbed with a die-cut o-card. (The traditional edition, in a normal Low Cunning-style vinyl case with stickers and pins and gee-gaws and whatsits, will be released in springtime.)

Limit one per order, plz.

Includes unlimited streaming of Penitence of the Shitty Wizard via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.	Enemies Keep Dropping Gold And Useful Items Even Though They Don’t Anywhere To Store Them And It Happens All The Time 03:33	buy track
2.	A Random Lord Invited Me To Participate In A Tournament And There’s a 100% Chance It’s A Trap But There'll Be Free Food And Booze So I'm Attending 01:34	buy track
3.	Why Bother Having A Dialogue Tree If I’m Just Going To End Up Doing The Quest Anyway? 03:32	buy track
4.	“Grinding On Slimes” Means I’m Killing Them For Loot And Has Very Little To Do With Sexual Gratification 04:10	buy track
5.	“You Have My Hammer,” Says The Town's Most Painfully Incompetent Blacksmith 02:20	buy track
6.	The Vengeful Carline Isn’t Speaking In Riddles, She Just Had A Stroke 01:16	buy track
7.	I’ll Talk To Every Asshole In This Town Just To Make Sure None Of Them Say Anything Remotely Useful 02:50	buy track
8.	When I Said I’d Slay The Giant I Thought He’d Be Kind Of Big But Not, Like, “A Towering Monolith Rising From The Earth What Might Touch The Gods”-Big 06:49	buy track
9.	“Champion” Is Just A Fancy Word For “Bootlicker” 02:45	buy track
10.	I Do Not Think Looting Every Cromlech And Burial Mound I Encounter Affects My Alignment, No 02:13	buy track
11.	That Dungeon Wasn't Very Hard To Escape In Spite Of What The Ominous Voice Kept Saying 01:48	buy track
12.	Searching Through Bushes, Bookshevles, And Jars Is My Passion 03:32	buy track
13.	It Is Pitch Black. I Am Likely To Take A Nap 02:20	buy track

about

Everyone's least-favorite mage is really pushing the boundaries of good taste at this point! Lord Hubbard the Kind, having lost his entire family to gross mystical incompetence, seized the Hinterwürld throne and issued this proclamation: any man, woman, or beast who slays the Shitty Wizard shall be granted governance over Annwvyn. Now our protagonist must stay one step ahead of the Grim Dragon Asmodæus, Be'lilth's zealous paladins, dedicated knights of the Incarnadine Sect, and anyone else he's fucked over as they quest to please King Hubbard the Baleful.

credits

released February 2, 2024

Written and performed by Z. Emerson Weston
Mastered by Tom Gaffron
Design and hand lettering by Gage Salzano, Studio Apt.

Almost all sounds on "Penitence of the Shitty Wizard" were performed on guitar or a guitar-like device with a small army of effect pedals. As guitar strings are imperfect analog oscillators, the occasional weird glitch or untoward noise should be expected and welcomed.

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about

Low Cunning Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Fake video game music for fake video games with fake synth sounds made by real guitars.

Call the Tipline of the Shitty Wizard: (888) 351-2666. Updated whim-ishly.

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